I personally have no issues with gays/lesbians, so don’t think of this as trashing. Its just that the darn joke is too funny.

Boy: “Dad there is a kid in school who keeps calling me gay!”

Dad: “Well!!!!! punch him hard!!!!!!!!”

Boy: “But No Dad he is soooooooo cute!!!!”

Self-explanatory…

This take-off on the Girls Gone Wild phenomenon is pretty hilarious:
http://milkgonewild.com/

nsfw.

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date for over 5 years. She was afraid there might be something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “OK, take off all your crose.”   The woman did as she was told.

“Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.”   Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.” As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly.

“Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”

The woman asked anxiously, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary disease?”

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, “Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass.”

A cop was patrolling late at night. In a well-known make-out spot he saw a couple in a car.

The cop carefully approached to get a better look. He saw a young man in the back seat with a young woman. The man was reading a magazine. The woman was sitting next to him, knitting.

Puzzled, the cop gently rapped on the window. The young man lowered it.

“Yes, officer?”

“What are you two doing?” the cop asked.

“Well, officer, I’m reading a magazine.”

Pointing toward the young woman, the cop asked, “And what is she doing?”

The young man glanced over. “Knitting a sweater.”

The cop stepped back, confused, and scratched his head.

“How old are you?” he finally asked.

“I’m 22, sir.”

“And how old is she?”

The young man looked at his watch. “She’ll be 18 in . . . 11 minutes.”

So Tommy Flaherty comes home from the doctor’s office, and calls his son.
“Sonny, I got some bad news today.  Doc says I’ve got but 6 months to live – I’ve got cancer.”

The son is floored.  Knowing his old man’s best friends at the pub would want to console him, he says “Dad, let me take you down for a pint so you can tell your pals.”

Down at the pub, Tommy tells all his buddies, “Boys, it’s been nice knowin’ ya. But the doctor tells me I’ve got AIDS and have 6 months to live.” His friends console him and buy him drinks all night.

Later, the son asks, “Dad, why did you tell your closest friends you’ve got AIDS rather than cancer?”

Tommy says, “I don’t want any of them fuckin’ yer mudder after I’m gone!”

 

Aik wife – sex kernay say pehlay kapraay utaaar ti houway – gir gaiye, tu uss kay husband nay bola:

“Jaan tum theek ho nah – tum hai dard tu nahi hoiwee”

…and then….. after sex…..uss ki wife again kapraay pehnaytay howai gir gaie tu phir husband nay bola…….

AAANDHI HAI KIYA BENCHOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two farmers come back from a very festive dinner in their neighborhood in Punjab. Being the rural folks they are walking back – stomachs full back to their house in between the meandering fields at night. A cold winter’s night.

About half-way one of them says:

“Oye – mainuu bahut zoor naal aiyee hai”

“Kee aiyee hai?”

“potty yaara”

“haan mainuu vee potty aarahi hai”

“tey fir chal – doo noo nukar vich ja kar – potty kariyay”

So they both trod to the fields – near the tress, and squat away attending to natures call – being the cold winter it was, they are literally side-by-side – to share some body heat…. when suddenly they hear a rustle amongst the bushes…

“Oye – tu sunay yaa hai?”

“Haan – benchod iss vakat raat nu ithay ki hai?”

Suddenly they hear a growl of what sounds like an animal..

“Oye tainuu daar tay nahi lag raha?”

“Na na yaar – may keyvay daraa!”

and suddenly a lion appears out of nowhere – standing right in front of them, both of them are huddled together, squatting….. paralyzed in fear – when one manages to speak…

“Oye tainu dar tay nahi lag rahaa?”

“Oye nai nai – bilkul nahi”

“Pakee gaal?”

“Haan haan” (both of them answering in fear)

“Tey fir ganduu apni bund thoug (wash) nah – may ri kiyoun thoundaa pay yaa hai!”

(just picture the scene and if you will really enjoy the joke)

A good friend of mine who is a stock broker, best summed it up as to what money is.

and I quote…

“paisa gaand ki taraa ho ta hai – har aik paas hai, magar koi koi dayta hai!“

My friend sent this to me on email – actually a day or two after thanksgiving, but I just saw it now… its fucking hilarious!

“If the Indians would have killed a cat instead of a turkey we all would be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!“

I found this on the net. Its a list of school teachers who have had sex with their students whilst they were in High School.
Why does only have to happen in America? Where were all these women when I was in high-school? Why doesn’t shit like this happen in Pakistan?

You know we home boys use to imagine and fantasize (for lack of a sweeter word) about our teachers!

This website: OGRISH.COM is one messy website. It has images and videos of people dying or shot at, murdered, suicide, killed in bomb explosions, hit-and-run, etc. Like the website’s title says – Can you handle life?

Not Work Safe. May Contain Nudity. Highly Graphic.
You have been warned.

The sweet and innocent bride-to-be was taken aside by her mother on the morning of the wedding. “Honey,” she said, “you’re marrying a good man, and I think he’ll treat you well, and will make a wonderful father.”

“Thank you, mama!” exclaimed the young woman, “I’m so glad you like him.”

Her mother continued, “But a man is a man, and I can tell you right now, that a man is never satisfied in bed. You mark my words, it won’t be but a week or two before he asks for ‘something different’ in bed!”

A wave of worry passed over the pretty face. “Oh gosh, Mama, what do I do then?”

Placing a hand comfortingly on her daughter’s arm, she advised, “You just tell him ‘No!’ in no uncertain terms, and that you’re not that kind of a woman!!”

The wedding and honeymoon went fabulously, and the young couple fell more deeply in love every day that passed. True to Mama’s word, the man treated his young bride with devotion and kindness. But it was a month to the day, or actually to the night, when, as predicted, he kissed her tenderly in bed and then, with a glint in his eye, suggested something ‘different’.

The bride, shocked but feeling the strength of her mother’s determination, pulled away with a firm “Honey, No!” With a frown she explained, in no uncertain terms, that she was not that sort of a woman.

The young man, deflated, propped himself up on his elbow and looked at her with a plaintive expression on his face. “But darling!” he cried, “don’t you want to have children?”